Wednesday 10 February 2010

Embarrassing (SEO Blog) Illnesses

Is your SEO blog suffering from an ailment? Are you too embarrassed to discuss the issue with family or friends? Don't let it keep you awake at night. There is help at hand.

The embarrassing SEO blog surgery is now open. Next patient please.

Patient One

Symptoms: Blog not visible in desired Google searches. Discomfort expressed by author. Initial content sample shows deficiency in appropriate keywords.

Diagnosis: Acute keyword deficiency

Treatment:

Appropriate keywords to be taken by content as required.
Blog advised to include keywords in article title and domain URL
Recommended increase of keywords in link anchor text

Patient Two

Symptoms: Patient's copy struggles socially. Blog has difficultly in maintaining relationships and fails to engage users in conversation relating to content. Lower than average follower count on Twitter and reduced presence of retweets.

Diagnosis: Social media disorder

Treatment:

Patient advised to increase social media intake
Repeated use of '@' function recommended in order to establish relationships with other users
Suggest copious application of retweet feature for third-party content

Patient Three

Symptoms: Content unintelligible and rarely coherent. Complaining of high bounce rate and low conversions. Examination shows an unusually high level of keywords and low readability ratio.

Diagnosis: Clinical keyword obesity

Treatment:

Patient told to reduce content intake of SEO keywords
Apply proofreading before publishing
Closely monitor keyword density of text
Attend support group for advice on producing readable content

Patient Four

Symptoms: Blog lifeless. Numbness detected in originality area. Creative constipation. Visible plagiarism in content. Heavy bleeding in reputation.

Diagnosis: Parasitic content stealer

Treatment:

Take two creativity tablets per blog, as required.
Recommended surgical removal of Ctrl and V buttons from keyboard
Patient advised to monitor industry news websites for inspiration

1 comment:

  1. Lol, this is really original and put a smile on my face Tom, love the diagnosis', "clinical keyword obesity" really made me chuckle and the surgical removal of Ctrl and V, lol.

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